Light for the Day

I'm in the thick of doctoral applications to universities in 4 different countries and (re)learning that the Lord grants just enough light to see immediately in front of me, just enough to take one or two more steps. My flesh hates that. I would rather be in control. Have a road-map to the future. But no matter what our job security is or our retirement plan or the strength of our friendships or our academic achievement, the company may go bankrupt, the 401K may evaporate, the relationship may sour, the grades prove insufficient. So even if I did have a road-map, it would often prove to be false security. So the Lord kindly presses us, keeps us keenly aware of the precarious nature of life and the way it might turn any direction at any time (a school I was not considering a week ago has become my top choice). He gives us just enough light for the day. I think this is what Jesus meant when he said, "Stop worrying about the future. Trust me. Today has enough to think about. And tomorrow--as surely as the birds of the air will find lunch--will find you as secure in the Father's arms as ever."

The truth is, if I knew today where we were going to be next year, I would invariably slip into finding my identity in that, taking pride in that, looking to that for joy and security, and my gaze would imperceptibly shift from God's governance to mine. So while I am eager to know what the future holds, I am content. It is enough. And it keeps me trusting him. "But seek first his kingdom..." "Do not boast, saying 'Tomorrow we will go to this city...'" "Do not be anxious about anything..." "Cast your cares upon him, because he cares for you."