That Inimitable Rabbi Duncan

John ('Rabbi') Duncan, 18th-century pastor in Scotland and professor of Old Testament at the University of Edinburgh:

Every unconverted Arminian is a Pelagian and every unconverted Calvinist is an Antinomian.

--quoted in Iain Murray, Spurgeon vs. Hyper-Calvinism: The Battle for Gospel Preaching (Banner of Truth 1995), 68 n. 1

Here are a few other nice ones from Rabbi Duncan:

I am first a Christian, next a catholic, then a Calvinist, fourth a paedobaptist, and fifth a Presbyterian. I cannot reverse this order.

And:

Hyper-Calvininsm is all house and no door. Arminianism is all door and no house.