Struck by this today. In giving Rev. Timothy instructions for his pastoral duties, Paul says this of the widows in the church:
She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. -1 Tim 5:5-6
It's the last phrase that bites my heart. More literally it's: 'the self-indulgent, living, has died.' Feeding Self feels like life; it is death. Denying Self feels like death; it is life.
I am no widow but that is helpful.