Dealing with Disappointment

In this world you will have trouble. But be of good cheer: I myself have overcome the world. --John 16:33

The division among us all, relating to disappointment, is not between those who experience it and those who don't, but those who experience it well and those who don't. We all get disappointed. How do we handle it?

There are two wrong ways: tears-without-smiles and smiles-without-tears.

The tears-without-smiles way sulks and stews and fumes--to use Jesus' words from John 16, it's all trouble and no cheer. In the language of biblical theology, all fall and no redemption. It's 'sorrowful and therefore not rejoicing' (cf. 2 Cor 6:10). It tends toward self-spotlighting by subtly eliciting pity ('Look at me--poor me!').

The smiles-without-tears way is chipper and cliche and trite, all cheer yet no acknowledgment of trouble. All redemption and no fall. 'Not sorrowful but rejoicing.' It tends toward self-spotlighting by subtly parading strength ('Look at me--unfazed!').

Jesus said: 'In this world you will have trouble.' Absolute realism. Tears will flow. And--'But cheer up! Take courage! I myself [emphatic first person singular] have overcome the world.' Trouble and cheer; fall and redemption. 'Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.' A few Coronas and a paycheck can make me smile. But that's not Christianity. We can stiff-arm Jesus with grins as much as grimaces.

Christianity is smiles amid tears. Both. Subtract the tears and you have chipper superficiality, subtract the smiles and you have dour stoicism. Jesus wept with Mary and Martha when their brother died. Wept! But in the same chapter, receiving and entering into their sadness, he did not flinch in adding: 'I am the resurrection and the life.' They can take your life; but I am Life himself.

Let's be unflinchingly realistic. And indomitably cheerful. Spotlighting only Jesus. In this world we will have trouble. And--he himself has overcome the world.

Cast the burden of the present, along with the sin of the past and the fear of the future, upon the Lord, who forsaketh not his saints. Live by the day--ay, by the hour. Put no trust in frames and feelings. Care more for a grain of faith than a ton of excitement. Trust in God alone, and lean not on the needs of human help. Be not surprised when friends fail you: it is a failing world. Never count upon immutability in man: inconstancy you may reckon upon without fear of disappointment. (Spurgeon, Lectures to My Students, 164)